You want him to read your winning online profile, yes? Then catch his eye with your primary photo — it’s your hook. Shoot for beautiful, natural, relaxed, and happy. A big, authentic smile is good! From there, represent yourself well in the pictures that follow.
There are simple, universal rules that one should consider regardless of gender:
- Don’t use pictures where you have to cut people out of them (it’s creepy).
- Pick photos that actually look like you – today (not 20 years ago).
- Don’t use snapshots that your face isn’t in.
That said, men and women look at images and take in data about what they see in very different ways. To maximize your online profile and catch a man’s eye, follow these expert online photo tips so you’ll have the chance to capture his heart as well.
Do shoot for authentic happiness
We all know men are visual, but what is he looking for? He’s looking to see if you are attracted to him.
And he’ll look beyond that to see what other clues he can glean about your life: Is your hair brushed? What’s your style? Do you seem like a happy person or are you stressed out? Do you look comfortable in your own skin? Do you appear high maintenance or are you a little more laid back? What can he tell about you in your photos?
Do take a quality selfie
Self-portraits are terrific if you can take one well. A selfie (done well) can give the illusion that the viewer is looking at you – right now. It’s mysterious, feels spontaneous, and is intriguing.
Give it a try: See if you can pull it off with decent lighting, and body parts that aren’t cut out of the shot.
Do take his feedback
As you date, if men are telling you, “You look amazing in person,” this is not good news. Rethink your photos – think of all those other stellar, qualified matches you’re missing because your photos are not representing who you are in the world.
Do showcase a full-body shot
Always, and I mean always, put a full-body shot on your site. I’m not talking about an art shot where you’ve positioned yourself in a way that your legs are crossed and covering your enormous stomach.
Or you’ve wedged yourself in a chair just right so it cuts off half your butt in the shot. You can put that on too, but that’s an “art” shot, not a “full-body” shot.
Your body shot needs to show your whole body shape. Wear something that form-fits to your silhouette, versus a baggy sweater and long skirt. Make your shape easily seen. This cuts down on first date meet-and-greet disappointment. I’ve experienced it, I can attest to it being one of the worst parts of dating.
Do have a friend take your photo
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Ask your friends, they don’t need to be professionals and it’s actually better if they’re not. An old boyfriend offered by saying, “I love your body! Can I take photos for you? I can shoot you in the right angles to highlight your assets.”
He was right. He knew me, he liked my body, he knew what men would appreciate about me and he did a fantastic job. If you are friends with an ex and he offers, let him shoot some pictures.
Your photos will have an added bonus, a sparkle in your eye since you sincerely appreciate and have an affinity for your photographer.
Do not highlight only one activity
Are you a runner? If five out of seven shots are of you running, he may pass you by if he’s not a runner. If you are only trying to attract runners, great – good sorting.
If you are trying to show you’re athletic, one shot will do the trick. (Pick one of you doing a glory dance as you cross that finish line!)
Do not include children and family members
He will always assume those seven nieces and nephews in the shot are your biological children. Photos come first; reading comes last.
Since he doesn’t know you, he doesn’t know your family. If you’re standing with your brother, he’s going to assume you’re with your ex-boyfriend. Adding people to your photo just gives him a puzzle to solve, without any information. He shifts his focus away from you and toward figuring out the scenario. Keep the focus on you.
Do not be a party girl
Unless you’re 21 and newly hitting the party scene, photos of you at parties, vacationing, and clubbing will be scrutinized. The pictures you include may not be interpreted the way you intended them to be.
Photos of you boozing it up with a group may seem festive to you. 4-1-1: They just might make you look like drunk girl, or a potential hot mess. Anything you feature in your photos will be interpreted as a priority for you.
Unless you are, in fact, an alcoholic, and you’re looking for someone to be cool with that, don’t feature yourself getting your drink on in a party setting in multiple shots.
Want an exception? One – you get one. In one shot, you may hold a glass of wine or Champagne if the viewer can see the event is formal attire.
Do not accidentally compete with your girlfriends
Do you want your man looking at other women? Do you want him to compare you to those other women? Men say they hate the girlfriend group photos. They have to struggle to know which one is you, and if your friend is hotter, they wonder where they can find her – and you’re no longer as interesting.
As one man put it, “I can’t help compare everything. I compare a meal at my favorite restaurant to the last meal I had there. So when she shows me photos of her with her friend(s), I can’t help but compare. It’s automatic.
I’m telling you, almost 100% of the time, her friends are cuter than she is. It cracks me up. Women need to get themselves uglier friends if they’re going to be doing that!”
Do not be a different woman in photos
One thing we try to balance in photos is being sexy while not being trampy. Every man is different, so they will respond differently due to their own distinct standards and ideas of what is sexy or trampy. Does that mean respectable, nice guys want you in a turtleneck and the players want you in a tube top?
Nope. I’ve met the opposite in both directions. It’s all a matter of style, so your job is to rock yours. Present how you would if you were out in the real world. If you’re turtle-neck girl, be turtle-neck girl in photos. If you’re cleavage girl in the world, be cleavage girl in your photos. Now get out there and be yourself, sexy girl!
A photographer friend once told me, “When you’re taking your sexy shot, think, ‘I know a secret.’ It will give you a sweet, sexy, playful expression.”
If you’re not getting responses to your primary photo, mix it up. Move one of your other photos into the primary position and see if you attract different men.
Source: Wendy Newman via expertbeacon.com
Photo Credits: © Andy Dean – Fotolia.com; Check Man, Cross Man and Jump Man © ioannis kounadeas – Fotolia.com