With the presence of popular casual hook-up apps like Tinder and Grindr, you would think that guys log onto dating websites every day for one thing and one thing only—sex!
It turns out, though, that this is a major misconception when it comes to what most guys want when pursuing women, especially when talking to them online.
In reality, 70 percent of American guys who are open to meeting someone through online dating are actually looking for a serious relationship over a physical one, according to the results of a recently released survey on men’s attitudes and perspectives toward relationships and online dating (the survey was conducted by Harris Interactive in conjunction with online dating website AnastasiaDate).
What’s more is that 64 percent of these men said that they could fall for someone they’ve never even had sex with, and 39 percent said that they could fall for someone they’ve never met in person!
Other findings from the survey include that:
- Forty-five percent of respondents who have dated online or are open to dating online are looking for a potential marriage partner.
- Fifty-seven percent are seeking companionship.
- Thirty-one percent are trying to find someone solely for sex.
- Interestingly, 65 percent of guys who have dated online have also discussed their dating experiences with friends, so it looks like women aren’t the only ones who kiss and tell.
If you’re finding that you, too, fall into this category of men who are looking for a serious love connection online, here is some expert advice on how to best increase your chances for establishing a fun and lasting relationship through engaging with a woman via online dating.
Do try to establish a friendship with the woman you are talking to first
Don’t rush into anything serious right off the bat. Take your time getting to know the woman and finding out what she’s interested in. Only decide to meet in person once you feel a certain level of comfort together and know that you are both truly intrigued to take the next step toward a more committed relationship.
Do be upfront about what you want to get out of a relationship
If you want companionship, say so. If you want to be a part of a relationship that has the potential to evolve into something a little more serious, say so. Women aren’t minded readers: be direct with what you want and don’t keep them guessing. Honesty is always the best policy at the beginning of any relationship.
Do be open to dating women who are different from you
Whether you’re looking near or far for love, don’t limit yourself to the local neighborhood dating scene. Expand your horizons, and go out of your way to meet women who are “beyond the girl next door.”
In fact, according to the survey referenced above, 42 percent of men said that they would even be open to dating someone from another country!
Do understand that hook-up apps like Tinder and Grindr most likely will not lead to anything serious in the long run
Using them may be fun and exciting initially, but instant gratification isn’t always the best way to go if you know that eventually, you might want the opportunity to settle down with someone in the future.
Take your time meeting different kinds of women, both online and offline and be patient for the right one to come around.
Do not engage in online dating if you’re in a relationship
In fact, 89 percent of guys believe that online dating is considered cheating for someone who says that he/she is already committed to someone else.
If you’re ever unsure as to whether or not what you’re doing is cheating and you really care about the person you’re actually with, it’s probably best not to move forward with your decision.
Do not share every detail about your date with your guy friends
It’s perfectly acceptable to tell them the basics: where you went on your date, what kinds of conversations you had and whether or not you think you’ll see the woman again.
But don’t get into anything too personal, out of respect for both you and your date. Keep private things to yourself, and your friends will actually think highly of you for doing so.
Do not ever pressure a woman to have sex with you on the first date
Even if you feel like you’ve known the girl forever as a result of prolonged communication through online dating, you shouldn’t pressure her to have sex on the first in-person date.
A first date is still the first date, no matter how you spin it, so you need to spend some time interacting with each other in person before figuring out whether or not you want to make things physical.
It’s OK to take your time when it comes to sex. Talk about what you both expect out of the relationship before getting in too deep.
Do not be afraid of having a conversation about maintaining close relationships with other women
While 24 percent of respondents believe that these kinds of relationships are considered cheating, this may not be the case if you are truly friends with other women or have been able to make peace with an ex and continue being in each other’s lives as supportive friends and nothing more.
If you want a future with a woman, make sure that the two of you are on the same page with this issue to avoid awkward or resentful feelings later on.
In the end, it’s just not true that all men are dogs—guys are just looking to be held at a higher standard these days. If you take the time to get to know the person you are dating, it will definitely pay off in the long run.
Note: this survey was conducted on July 30 and August 8, 2013, among over 500 American guys aged 35 to 55 with a household income of $100k or more, an associate’s degree or higher in education, and an interest in women.
Source: Antonio Sabato, Jr. via expertbeacon.com
Photo Credits: Date Night by Flickr: Amy Morris; Check Man, Cross Man and Jump Man © ioannis kounadeas – Fotolia.com